Thursday 14^th May. Show Day.

Firstly, I was incredibly ill all day and I really thought all the confidence I had in my show had gone. I had no energy, I could barely speak and I had a few cries throughout the day into cups of coffee. I became frustrated with myself for being ill as I did not want to let down all the people who I have spoken to who were going to be in the audience. But it was knowing people had brought tickets to see my show that really made me pull through. Yes I was ill, but I was not going to let that hinder my performance.

The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fatty started at 7pm, and I was allowed in to my performance space at 5pm. I was incredibly nervous as I had to redo some of my tech as my script had changed since my last tech day. This did not become a problem thanks to the amazing tech crew at Lincoln Performing Arts Centre. Looking back at it now, ideally I would have finalised my script before tech day but I felt it needed improving and I would rather have a finished script I was happy with, and I was. My video was set up on a television outside studio one along with some bowls of crisps and a plate of cookies for the audience to help themselves to. My set was complete. I had the bed and side table all sorted with some of my chosen books which included William Blakes, Songs of Innocence and Experience (Blake, 2009). I chose to have his collection of poems as I feel the development of my show has been a real experience, and I have been the innocent within it. I also had a photo of myself with my childhood friend. I chose this photo because when we were growing up my friend had a troubled experience with her weight. She was diagnosed with Anorexia and I wanted to bring this along as a reminder that no matter what your weight, people still struggle to conform to this ideal image society wants us to be.

With the stage and tech ready to go, it was time to perform. I could a ripple of laughs coming from outside the studio doors as the audience were watching my video and it was at this moment that I thought, let’s do this. I picked up my can of hairspray and started to mime to Who’s Laughing Now, and the audience entered my headquarters. It may sound weird, but I cannot remember what I felt performing to the audience. I was just so happy performing in front of so many people, and people who I haven’t seen for nearly five years. I was happy about the fact the audience were laughing at my jokes. Which was reassuring considering that was one of my main worries about performing a comedy.  I mean, the dance could have gone better, but I tried my hardest and I remembered the moves. But most importantly, I proved that big girls can move and for that I will always be happy.

In reflection, if I was to improve my performance I would remember which side I was talking to my mum on when discussing the dance lessons. I noticed myself as soon as I did it that I swapped sides but I’m hoping this did not matter too much. In addition, if I was to extend my performance, I would talk about my room a little bit more and the fact that my sister and I shared a room. She would have her side and I would have mine and divide this with a very definitive line down the centre. I feel I could make this quite funny by crossing the line to reach another packet of crisps or a piece of clothing and a spotlight comes on with just a recording of her voice shouting, “Mum! Jess is on my side”. Furthermore, I would talk about my admiration for Dawn French and also Miranda Hart. I would link this in with a review I received about my performance of Scaramouche in my sixth forms show, We Will Rock You. I want to link this to the fact that even though I have the same skills and talent when I performed then, would I still be cast as her now? And the answer is probably not. I would more likely be cast as The Killer Queen who is much more exaggerated with her movements and size does not really matter for her physique.

Overall, I am really happy with how my performance went. I felt that I have achieved my aim which was to inform the audience that it is okay not to fit in and from the responses I received after my show, others said I have done this to. I have used my inspirations of Major Tom and Dawn French to form structure and comedy, and feel I have used the practitioners studied such as Marina Abramovic and Adrian Howells and focused on the performer spectator relationship. I wish I wasn’t ill on the day of my performance, but that is life for you.

As Dawn French says, “It’s about teaching people how to take you, how to accept you. You have to open people’s minds” (Eden, 2009), and I really hope The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fatty has done just this.

References

Blake, W. (2009). Songs of innocence and of experience. [Waiheke Island]: Floating Press.

Eden, R. (2009). Dawn French: Fat jokes are no laughing matter. [online] The Telegraph. Available at: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/6679022/Dawn-French-Fat-jokes-are-no-laughing-matter.html [Accessed 17 May 2015].